The L in LDA: The F* word vs the L* (read the new Footnote)
When I was a kid, gray dumper trucks of the Lahore Municipal Corporation (LMC) could be seen on roads of my city of Lahore. In Punjabi, we had another more politically correct word for LMC – Lahore mitti ghatta! referring to the fact that these dumpers usually left a trail of garbage and were not that clean or tidy either. By the way, if you are in Pakistan, be wary of dumpers as these are driven by drivers who are high on charas, afeem or some other type of relaxant. Think of someone on Prozac raised to the nth degree :-). These drivers won’t see you or your car and would love to ram you against their fat a** dumpers!. Be very careful! I usually pull my car far away from dumpers both in Islamabad as well as in Lahore.
In the farangi angraizi zabaan English i.e., there are many forbidden words. Forbidden in the sense that the use of these words among civilized humans could reflect negatively on your intellect. Most well known of these is the ‘F word’. It is customary these days to write the F word as simply ‘F word’ or for the less literate as F**k. Now the transitive qualities of the F word are not what we are going to discuss here but it must be said that taking away the F word could do some serious damage to a free human being who just wants to be expressive. What the F*! 🙂
But the Lord was kind on those of us in Punjab. The Punjabi ‘L word’ which I will refer here as ‘L* word’ is the deluxe edition of the ‘F word’!. Not only is the L word more potent and lethal than the ‘F word’, it could outright provoke a slap or a punch in the face. When used as a noun, the ‘L* word’ refers to a slime. A human with no shame ….. no honor …. no integrity!
Since the last thirty years, Lahore Development Authority has been screwing Lahore as no one ever has. Be it traffic, the beauty of the city or anything to do with it’s development, the Lahore development authority has made sure that it will remain #1 in incompetence. LDA seems to have an L too many in its midst!
It is in sheer disgust that I write these words to express to tell all the L*s out there that Sir all of you sir bring a bad name to us Lahorites! Shame on You!
Footnote: (Added 3 Sep 2010) Well, life is simple. Or is it? I’ll leave you to answer that. As if the Punjabi L* word was not enough, I later discovered (on my friend Google) that the English language also has an L* word. Hmmmm Now because what the English L* word is all about is a taboo in our society, I cannot delve very deep on the subjet. (Yes sir, I am straight and very sure of my Freudian tendencies :-)) . But if you have read the Urdu short story ‘Lehaaf’ by Asmat Chugtai then you know what this English L* word is all about :-)….. which brings us to a more interesting discussion. The Punjabi L* word describes ‘masculinity’ (if you allow me to say that) whereas the English L* word yearns for it. For all the bi***hes out there, I’ve been thinking since long to write a piece on Male Chauvinism. Keep your fingers crossed!